Reblogging because the rest of the world needs to learn to move their lighthouses.
Because they are blocking freedom.
homestuck kin seem to be generally popular round these parts so i thought id give this a go: im bro strider and not necessarily anything close to canon dirk but i do vaguely remember a jake english and i thought id drop a line here if nothing else. my bad if this isnt allowed im not really part of these communities just wanted to give it a go. ill talk to anyone though im aware im probably some kind of special case
…Is that alien porn?
I haven’t had a chance to study troll biology at all. Oh my god, this is the perfect opportunity to learn how their reproductive systems work.
I’m going to study the shit out of that book.
And then I’m going to fuck the SHIT out of Kanaya.
… Her long hair, still wet from the shower, had been combed down her back in a wet swath. Hilda was sitting on the floor, her round, wet boobs still wet from the shower’s water. She dried off the water with a towel, which then became wet.
Hilda gasped when she saw a reflection in her bedroom mirror: through the slightly open door, she caught a glimpse of the chiseled abs and square jaw of the mysterious stranger who shared her cabin. She stood and spun around, her breasts swinging heavily with the momentum. She grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing shirtless Torolf (which was seriously his name) quivering with desire in the hallway.
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.
“Hilda,” Torolf murmured thickly, his throbbing meat wand pressing against Hilda’s warm thighs. “There is a secret I need to not tell you: You are my forbidden desire.”
Hilda had been waiting to hear these words. Her heart was lifted on golden wings and soared toward a radiant sun of perfect joy. She saw herself and Torolf happy together, bathed in the golden light of love. Her snooch got all warm, too.
“Torolf,” Hilda moaned, her lush teats straining with desire. “I need you.”
Torolf, coarse abs pulsing softly in the moonlight, stood silently.
Hilda looked at him expectantly.
“Oh, sorry,” she added. “Torolf, I need you – sexually.”
At hearing those beautiful words, Torolf flexed his rough-hewn abs and Hilda found herself being guided to her soft bed by the sheer force of Torolf’s undulating midsection. She parted her thighs in anticipation, exposing the soft pink petals of her clunge.
Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.
Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands. Her spongy love mountains hurled to and fro with each pounding. Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.
Then Torolf moaned, arched his back, and suffered from dick Parkinson’s. He pumped in all of his hot pearlescent sperms as Hilda spasmed with so many orgasms!
The two lay still for a moment as the stinky scent of lovemaking billowed around the room.
Hilda got out of bed, still shimmering with orgasm. She glowed with contentment, like a cat who ate the cream of the crop.
She walked across the room and picked up her towel, still wet with shower water. “Torolf,” she said softly, “there’s something I have to tell you…”
But her bed was empty.
Torolf was gone, escaped out the bedroom window. In the distance, Hilda heard the fading sound of galloping abs.No WAT
LMAO THIS IS HILARIOUS. I JUST CAN’T.
MEAT WAND.
DICK PARKINSON’S.
ENTERED HER LIKE SHE WAS A LOTTERY.
SPONGY LOVE MOUNTAINS.
HER BODY WAS LIKE A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER THAT WAS OPENING AND SOMEONE WAS PUSHING THEIR DICK INTO IT.
WAT.
THIS motherfucker said DICK ANEURYSM. And “her snooch got all warm.”
Nope. Done.
I can’t even
Torolf was ashamed at being caught, but his shame made him even hotter – hotter for sex. He stepped into the room, and his bulging abs accidentally smushed into Hilda’s rich chest.
GALLOPING ABS
DICK ANEURYSM
SO MANY ORGASMS
What…
What…
WHAT?!
“Buttermilk bosoms”
“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery”
“ENGORGED PECKER”
what the fuck did i just read
all i can do is laugh
SIR.
SIR.
GIVE ME THAT AIRBRUSH.
SIR.
Oh god that guy lives in my state.
I AM ASHAMED.
*gasps* oh my god. i have to draw you
Hey @sw_inku @e1n
amazing
Oh, I get it! That must be a woman he ran over with his truck.
A Dialogue With My 86-year-old Grandmother About LGBT Rights & Marriage Equality
I saw this article:
http: //www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/29/gay-activists-grandparents-marriage-equality_n_1310537.html
earlier this afternoon and I got suddenly curious how my 86yo grandmother felt about marriage equality and LGBT rights. Since she's often hilarious, I decided to interview her on the phone and post it here. I put it on speakerphone, recorded it, then transcribed it. She's in Miami, and Cuban-born, so this is translated from Spanish. She's a pretty feisty lady. I want to be her when I grow up. Here's what she said:
Me: Grandma, what do you think about this couple in their 90s supporting their gay grandkids in the fight for marriage equality?
Grandma: I think it's very nice. You have to support your family, no matter who they are. You can't reject people for things like that.
Me: If you had gay or lesbian family, would you do the same?
Grandma: I don't know if I could make a video like those people. They speak English.
Me: What about in Spanish? Would you make videos supporting marriage equality in Spanish.
Grandma: Ay... don't get any ideas. I don't want to make a video.
Me: But is it okay if I post this on the Internet? On one of my websites
Grandma: Ignorant people might yell at you.
Me: Oh, that's okay, I don't mind.
Grandma: Yes, you can put what I said on the Internet.
Me: Okay. So do you support gay and lesbian people getting married?
Grandma: I think gay people should be able to get married. Times have changed. Even my ideas have changed. There used to be a lot of ignorance and rumors about gay people, mostly because they had to live in hiding, you know, you couldn't be yourself out in public like they can be sometimes now. So I think people just made things up. But think gay people should be allowed to live their lives like everyone else.
Me: Would you go to a gay wedding?
Grandma: Yes, I would. It would probably be more lively than a regular one. I hate weddings. They're so boring.
Me: They really are. What do you think about people who protest gay marriage?
Grandma: Oh. Idiots.
Me: They're wrong?
Grandma: Idiots. Dumb people with nothing better to do. Out of all the things to protest. They should be out trying to do some good in the world instead.
Me: Do you think you would have felt the same way when you were my age?
Grandma: (Pauses) I don't think I gave it any thought. People didn't talk about these things back then. There was a lot of ignorance. Everybody knew gay people, of course, but people didn't talk about it in normal conversation, much less in public like on the news now. I think that's good. Talking is always good. When people know things, they can make up their own minds.I would like to think that maybe with a little information and thinking about it, I would feel the same way.
Me: Do you think gay people should be able to adopt kids?
Grandma: Of course.
Me: As a Christian, what do you think the Bible says about gay people?
Grandma: The Bible is very clear that Jesus doesn't care about race or gender or where you came from or anything. He loves everyone.
Me: What about the parts of the Bible that says gay people should be stoned to death?
Grandma: We don't stone people to death anymore...
Me: So you don't think that applies?
Grandma: I think God gave us some common sense to be able to figure out what parts were meant for forever, like "don't kill" and "don't steal" and "be good to people," and what parts were just a record of the society people lived in back then. We don't hide women in the dark during their periods anymore, either. Things like that.
Me: What about gays in the military? Do you think that should be allowed?
Grandma: You know, when I heard President Obama had helped made that legal, I was surprised it already wasn't. If you're willing to pick up a gun and go fight in some war somewhere for my freedom, I'm not willing to do that, so if you are, I don't care if you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or fifteen cats.
Me: Yeah, I think most people supported that one.
Grandma: It's like I told you. God gave us common sense for a reason.
Me: I know you've had a few close gay male friends. Have you ever had a lesbian friend?
Grandma: I did in Cuba. She was my neighbor and she did everyone's hair on the block. You couldn't really tell she was a lesbian, but she told me, after many years of knowing her.
Me: What do you mean by "you couldn't tell she was a lesbian?"
Grandma: Well, she was very glamorous. She looked like a movie star all the time - that's why she did everyone's hair. Some lesbians, you can tell.
Me: In English, they call the ability to tell if someone's gay "gaydar." Like "radar" but for "gay."
Grandma: Oh! I think I have that.
Me: You think you have good gaydar?
Grandma: Well, I was an artist, so I was around a lot of gay men. And I can usually tell, but Paula fooled me.
Me: The slang term for lesbians who are very conventionally feminine in English is "lipstick lesbian."
Grandma: She did wear lipstick!
Me: Do you think a lot of older people think like you do?
Grandma: I think so. A lot of older people keep up with the news better than you think. And you get to be my age and you realize a lot of past mistakes in your thinking. You realize that a lot of things you think mattered, really don't. And the people who don't think like that, it's mostly because they don't know any better. But even at my age, people can be taught.
Me: Thank you, Pupa.
Grandma: You should show me your website when you put this up. I hope a lot of people read it.
Patricia Heaton is a Coward
Patricia Heaton, star of ABC’s The Middle, high-tailed it off of Twitter recently, presumably because she could not defend the nasty and misogynistic insults that she lobbed at Sandra Fluke. She also encouraged her “Tweatons” to lob at Ms. Fluke.
Unfortunately for her, in connection with one of my posts on Oink-Gate, I took a screenshot of her Twitter stream. Here it is:
Sorry, Patricia. You can run away from your words, but you cannot hide from them. The Internet is forever.
